A lot of the time they’re loners who want nothing more from you than to be fed. Sometimes it seems that they want affection and to be cuddled, and other times it looks like they want to kill you. These signs will help you find out if they really hate you, or this is the love in their vision.

Grooming – Cats love their kittens. Cats groom their kittens. If your cat grooms you, you’ve officially been adopted into the cat family.

Head-butting – All that head-butting and rubbing up against you isn’t designed simply to plaster your clean clothes with cat hair. No, it’s actually another way your cat is claiming you as her own by imparting her scent onto your body. Just be grateful your male cat hasn’t sprayed you.

“Love bites”  – These nibbles aren’t designed to draw blood… at least intentionally. Rather, they hark back to the days when your cat was a wee kitten, playing and nipping at his siblings. It’s an affectionate form of play that’s intended to say, “You’re part of my crew. Let’s have fun.”

Peeing on the bed – Hopefully this doesn’t become a habit, but if your cat wets your bed, interpret it not as a defiant slap in the face, but as another way your cat is laying claim to you as his favorite human. It’s certainly not a fun form of affection, but hey, now maybe you’ll be a little less angry the next time it happens. No?

She brings you dead “gifts” – There’s nothing like having a dead mouse, bird or insect dropped at your feet. When your cat brings you an offering, it’s really just a sign she wants to share her bounty with you as an esteemed member of her family. Thank her graciously before figuring out how to rid your house of the unfortunate present.

Close sleeping – When you consider basic animal instinct, the hours spent sleeping are the most vulnerable hours of the day. It’s important for cats to sleep where they feel safe, so if your cat sleeps on or around you, it’s a surefire sign she doesn’t see you as a threat. And as an extension, your cat loves you.

Creepy shadow – Cats are solitary animals, perfectly content to spend their days alone. If your cat voluntarily follows you around, even if it’s at a distance, you can feel confident it’s because she loves you.