All of which is of no consequence to the terrorist group we know as ‘Squirrels’. They don’t need money to spread their influence. In fact the group is so powerful that the Association of Energy Suppliers in the US has created its own activity log, which registers between 0.1 and 0.6 incidents per 1,000 customers every month. In California alone, these attacks cost $300 million per year.

“Typically, the animals touch current-carrying cables and a grounded component, such as a mast, at the same time, leading to a short circuit,” explains Matthew Olearczyk of the Electric Power Research Institute. Sometimes it only lasts a fraction of a second and the power supply restarts automatically. At other times the squirrel remains trapped in the short circuit position, so the system draws in more and more electricity to compensate. Subjected to temperatures of over 1,000°C, the squirrel explodes. That puts the facility out of action.

However, despite the dangers, the distributor stations still prove a huge draw for the animals. They offer shelter from predators, while the wind and cooling fans blow seeds and other foodstuffs into the installation. Plus there’s always something there for them to chew on: “A squirrel’s incisors grow 25cm per year – they have to constantly gnaw at things to wear them down,” explains University of Arizona zoologist John Koprowski.

Authorities have tried everything: bars on windows, strategically-placed dummies of pine martens, even fox urine, but nothing has stopped the creatures from hacking US infrastructure. The army of furry terrorists goes marching on…